I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
