so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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