Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Please, let me fuck your mom
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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