Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
smell my finger.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
