whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
