Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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