Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Randomize
