I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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