my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
