girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
