chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
