he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
