Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Terrible idea I love it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
