Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
