A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
