it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
