i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
