I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
