It was confusing and full of hummus
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize