apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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