is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
