the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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