Dual....:-)
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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