I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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