so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
