Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
