I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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