Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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