Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
