seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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