I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
