how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
