Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
