I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
