69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my being single is dangerous.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
