so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
