He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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