just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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