I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
