the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
