If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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