How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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