Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
