Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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