You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
