He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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