It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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