you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
