I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
