He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
