It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
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The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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