4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
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You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my liver is dry heaving
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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