when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nicole vs. Life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
