chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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