Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
