I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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