Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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