Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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