I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize