the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
