oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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