I got chris browned last night
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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