what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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